I WAS A DEAD MAN WALKING.
My heart was sick. My body was trembling. Happiness had left me a long time ago.
I had no freedom. I wandered aimlessly, in clothes that no longer fit me. My heart trembled; my soul was restless. I was finished.
But I was pulled out of that grave and survived - leaving people wondering, "What happened to this man?"
At work, I carried heavy responsibility, but my judgment failed me. Waragi and Tonto confused me. Even at home, things became difficult.
My aunt would look at me and ask, "You, who is never happy, where have you gone?"
I would lie. I would say, "These are just my circumstances."
But I know the truth. And you know it too.
NANTAYI - YOU ARE MY TROUBLE AND MY CURE.
Nantayi, you are the cause of my troubles.
But Nantayi, please show yourself!
Put me in a situation that is not temporary, not for young boys playing games, but something lasting. Something permanent.
Even if you are sitting at Jupiter, once I see you, you bring excitement. You speak to me.
Even if I tie a lamp in the house, when you enter, the house itself becomes bright. Nantayi, when you arrive, I feel as though the house itself has become beautiful.
I have told you, show yourself. Or I will return to Zambia again and enjoy Kachaso and shekesheke. Let them bring the number and check it in the books!
You are the cloud of happiness that has brought back my joy. The hope I have in you is greater than what I have in anything else.
Today I am convinced that God loves me and cares for me.
Before death takes Maama, she should see you. Because, Nantayi, you deserve to be seen.
I AM READY FOR YOUR WAR.
I am very ready to face your problems and deal with them.
The devil cannot pass through you and change your mind like that. You know the way to get rid of hatred is to see people as your source of happiness.
Do not fear me. I, the Oracle from Kifuuta, have no problem. Even when something becomes too hard for you, I ask you to be mine. Be mine, and let me be yours, just as we have always been.
My eyes are already searching for you before you even arrive.
What will I do when this one comes and there are others too? Then I laugh. And after everything that has happened to me, I remain there looking. That is why you find me in this condition, as though I have been beaten.
You are the bag that contains my warmth.
What else can I call you, Nantayi? You are exceptionally beautiful. But now, why are you laughing at me?
I touch you, and love troubles me. To me, love is like juice. You have turned me into something small, and now I look like someone who does not understand.
What kind of love is this that takes me out of my situation? How can I convince you that I am burning with love? I am like a small piece of firewood while these others are rejecting what has not yet arrived.
Nantayi, I have seen that I am still young Old; I cannot endure this.
Nantayi, I am still young but very Old and Mature. Love enters me and overwhelms me. I look at you and I stagger, as though someone has beaten me. But God helped me through the gods of Kafuluma, Kyotera, Buddu and turned back to my senses.
Yet you - how could you hate me so much that I stopped working and simply stayed at home? Nantayi!
Now how do I say goodbye to you while I keep asking myself when you will return? My bag is empty. I have no money. I am in a bad situation.
THE WORLD AND ITS JEALOUSY
Yet sometimes people speak badly about me. They usually do not see the good things I do, even though I do many good things. But when I make a small mistake, they exaggerate it.
There is no one who is completely perfect. Look at how we complain even about God. So the bad things people say about me are simply their hatred speaking.
Now I ask you, Mariah, do not give those people your eyes or your ears. Make your own decisions because you are no longer a child; you are independent.
We grow at different speeds. When someone takes the lead, people praise him. Even among friends, there is often a lot of jealousy. Someone may accuse you of something for no reason.
As for me, I do my own things. Anyone who does not send me should not mislead me. Even if I make mistakes, the person I work for will hold me responsible.
So I want you to learn from them because they praise mistakes. Then I become their laughing stock and their happiness. And when you correct yourself, they become angry.
They are very difficult people. They hide behind gossip. I call them stubborn people who follow whatever they see, unable to distinguish one thing from another. Truly, they leave nothing behind. I have become tired of people; they are very difficult.
THE MARBLE STONE
My friend Ali Ssekatawa amazed me when you left us at Nalukolongo Bakateyamba Catholic Church. He said you look so fine and nicknamed you a valuable and precious stone.
That you are beautiful as Marble. The stones are in Italy and cost a lot of money - in billions. But the young man was right, and I had run out of strength. When you dressed up and looked beautiful, I also felt as though I was gaining strength.
You amazed the whole world and left it staring. Indeed, you deserve to be written about, and your name suits you. You were beautifully dressed in my eyes, my dear. I have already praised you, and whenever I see you, I will long for you.
Love without money is like trying to beat a drum in the wilderness - no one hears you.
What matters is standing by what you have said and remaining firm. That is truly the strong pillar on which those who make decisions rely.
You see a man's strength when his pocket contains money - and plenty of it. That is what keeps me moving everywhere, without promising things I cannot deliver.
So don't lose hope; I will return soon.
The Oracles of Kifuuta, Kyotera, Buddu know these things and reflect on the truth.
